Some days are shitty for a reason

Things have been going so well lately that I forgot to make a deposit to my karma bank.

5 years ago, when I hit my lowest of low points and was living on my friend's couch, unable to procure lucrative employment, I swore that I would never take advantage of a good situation again. Recently, I almost forgot that promise to myself. Today, however the gods sent me a message, as they're apt to do.

Today was a bad day. We lost a huge amount of money and we lost our very important support staff member (who actually was the reason for the loss of money) almost simultaneously. I awoke feeling happy to start my day and within 2 hours, it all went sideways. The wheels came off the cart and the cart went into the ditch.

He spent the day putting out virtual fires and I spent the day being almost paralyzed with disappointment, but miraculously I did manage to get a few things done. As the day wore on, realization crept in; this is one of those pivotal events that were meant to take place, but without a catalyst it wasn't happening. Hadn't we been saying for the past 6 months that we couldn't tolerate any more screw-ups? Hadn't we been talking about how to gently let her know that it was indeed time to retire? Hadn't we known that coddling her wasn't allowing her to move on to the next phase of her life? Almost simultaneously we looked at each other and said, "the more I think about it, the more I realize this is a good thing".

I took a deep breath and told the universe what I need. Within 20 minutes, I received a positive response. Whew, ok, that's one thing that might be solved.

Just as the day was wrapping up, while fighting my deep desire to turtle, hoping that if I close my eyes and ignore today, tomorrow will be better, my phone rang. A potential client! YAY, maybe we can recoup some of today's loss....or....? As she asked questions and I answered, it became apparent that this potential client was not in a financial position to take advantage of my services. She sighed, saying "if only...." There was something in her voice. It was desperation. She really really needs my help, but she just can't afford the cost. The fact that people don't want to pay for services happens. It's business. But this time, I could hear in her voice that it wasn't about want.

So here I was, having lost this money, having my own issues to deal with, talking to another woman with issues and needs; the difference was that I could fix her situation. So I made a very unsound business decision in that moment. "Look" I said, "I can hear in your voice that you really do need my help and I understand you can't afford the cost, so I'm going to do something I've never done". I went on to come up with a solution for her that she can afford, but that doesn't put me any farther ahead. I thought about it and I said "I only ask 2 things; One, you agree not to tell anyone you got a freebie, and two; you spread the word about our wonderful service to your colleagues". She sighed and I could hear the shaking in her breath. "Thank you so much", she said "I just can't tell you how much this means to me. I'm at the end of my rope".

That felt good.