Since I really don't have any readers other than my dear friend, and I have cuntfacemcbitchfuck to carry on many of my rantings, I have not posted here in quite some time. Today though, I feel compelled to put this out there.
Yesterday was a bad day. Like a really bad, stressful I think my head is going to pop right off and spew blood and grey matter everywhere, chainsmoking, too many drinks to dial down the nerves before bed kind of day. For those who are a part of cuntfacemcbitchfuck, they got the full brunt of my bad day, due to my RANTING about it there. And they made me feel better. That is what I'm learning about this whole blogging experience. It's so bizarre that complete strangers can make you feel better. Even more bizarre that I want to make strangers feel better. It makes me feel like I can fill up my Karma bank even faster.
Man did I need the Karma bank to cash out yesterday. So I sat outside smoking my stinky cigarette, getting ready to turn in for the night and curl up in my hunky husbands safe giant protective arms for slumber. Before coming in, I looked up at the stars and said 'ok powers, I'm giving it up to you. Please help. I need help'. I went to bed and slept. Deep, drooly sleep for 5 solid (not nearly enough) hours. I awoke this morning to the familiar prickly dread of yesterday. Nothing's changed! My problem is not solved! I am going to fail miserably. This client is going to hate me and my name will be MUD.
I came to my office and was literally numb with dread. I stared and stared and stared at my monitor, my phone, my monitor my phone.... waiting for a miracle email or phone call to come in to tell me that my problem is indeed going to be solved. I was literally sitting here in tears, wondering how I was going to solve this problem. I have done all I can do. I have had to throw it up to the Powers, and now all I can do is sit numbly, quietly and wait until the day is over.
Email comes in from client asking 'any developments'. Oh no! It's time to fess up! I'm a fraud and this was a huge opportunity and I fucked it up, I knew I couldn't do this business...on the heels of these destructive thoughts popped up another email. It was the one that saved my ass. Literally at the 11th hour and 59 minute mark, the Powers came through. They always do. Why do I worry so much?
I am amazed. Mantra and I were talking about the powers last night. She sent good wishes my way as she received good wishes herself.
Thank you Powers That Be. I can breathe again....
3 comments:
How funny, I also was recently worrying about things, when the Powers came through for me. Miracles are wonderful when you hear of them, even better when we are lucky enough to witness one. Hope you are feeling better and less anxious now!!
Thanks for dropping by IW! Yes, I am feeling much much better now. I sure hope you are too.
I was at 'your others' post and saw it was new. Then I was gonna come here and say, 'what up?' But you have something new too. 'bout time. Glad it worked out for you.
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